Change Your Stories

Lately I've been feeling well, disconnected, depressed, unfocused.  Things are actually better in my life than they've been for awhile.  All my kids are doing great.  My husband is doing great.  What is my problem?  I think that we get into mental habits that aren't healthy.  I've stopped and paid attention to my thoughts in the last few days.  What am I thinking about? What are the stories I'm telling myself.  You realize that most of the stories we tell ourselves about our lives aren't even true.  We see things from our perception of reality that many times isn't quite right.  Time changes how we see the events of our lives and how we interpret them.  So, we make up these stories and put them on repeat in our brains.

As I've actually looked at the thoughts I've had over the last few months and even years, it is no wonder I've been stuck in a not so healthy emotional state.  These thoughts start small and they gain traction with the energy we put into them.  They can be about our weight, health, relationships, career, money, really anything.  

To be honest when I really assess my thoughts I am amazed at my own lack of disciple in this area.  No wonder I've been more unhappy than any other time in my life.  These stories are freakin' depressing!  Why have I stayed in this mental fog for so long?  Habit, comfort, denial, avoidance?  Probably all of those and some I haven't thought of yet.  Possibly avoiding the real self work I need to do to change my life.  Yes, that sadly is probably the biggest reason.  Change is hard and most of us don't like to engage in it.  Even if we are not in a good place we get comfortable there.  

So this week I am actively working on my thoughts and changing the stories I'm telling myself about me and my life.  First, I'll look at the 2 most prominent thought patterns or stories I've been fixated on.  I'm going to journal about them and change the way I look at them.  I'll look at the story and ask how much of it is really true.  Now I'll rethink it and change how I see it in a positive way.  

The other thing that helps so much if you're feeling like me is to listen to things that make you feel good.  YouTube and Podcasts and Audible are my favorites.  Listening to good things that interest you, changes your brain patterns.  I've committed to daily exercise and better eating habits.  As I've started this I'm shocked at what a difference it makes. My mind feels clearer like I'm coming out of a fog.  I feel excited about life again.  

Do not underestimate the power of your thoughts.  They are the most powerful thing in your life!  Do the work to change the way you think, and everything will change.

Trust Your Instincts

This last week I've been trying to decide between a couple of ideas I have.  I realized that in making decisions I always ask several people what they think. While this may be a good idea at times, I've decided something.  I think most of the time you have to listen to your heart.  Don't ask anybody what they think.  Do what seems right to you.  I have been swayed so many times to abandon an idea or change it because of someone else's opinion.  When really I have great ideas and intuition.

Also, don't be influenced by others comments about your passions or projects.  They are seeing things through their eyes, not yours.  What may seem silly or a waste of time to them, may be exactly what you need to do.  No one has the right to judge what is right for you.

This is a hard habit to break.  Tune into when someone is raining on your parade.  Pay attention to negative vibes someone is giving you about your idea or plan.  Of course feedback is helpful at times, but trust your own instincts.  Be confident with what ideas come to you.

Be aware of when you are doing the same thing to others.  Be positive and encouraging, even if you think they are off track.  They will figure it out on their own.  I think we all need to support each other in our differences and celebrate them, instead of trying to squash them.